


Aftermath

by dame_de_la_chance



Category: Code Lyoko, Code Lyoko Evolution
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Male Friendship, kinda willodd if you want to interpret it that way i wont stop you, odd is a good bro, they got a lot of feelings okay, william deals with the aftermath of xana's possesssion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 04:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15811596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dame_de_la_chance/pseuds/dame_de_la_chance
Summary: William gets a surprise guest in the middle of the night, and Odd and he discuss the effects of XANA and what it means for William.





	Aftermath

His eyes snapped open, and he could feel his heart racing, pounding away in his rib cage. He felt breathless, as if he had taken a punch to the gut, and tried to get oxygen in his lungs by taking clumsy breaths.

He stared into the darkness for a while, trying to orient himself. He was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceilings of the dorms. He was safe.

He groggily rubbed his eyes, the paralyzed, petrified state he had felt he was stuck in just moments ago fading away, leaving only his limbs tingling with numbness. He flopped his head to the side, glancing at the clock.

The numbers 4:06 angrily seared itself into his eyes, and he closed them as he let out an agitated sigh. He was thankful that it was Sunday, and that he wouldn't be expected to go to class.

He slowly sat himself up, now feeling almost wide awake. He loathed the aftermath of the rather common nightmares he had been suffering ever since he had been released from XANA; they always left him unable to fall back asleep.

He never could quite remember what the nightmares were about. Flashes of memories were few glimpses into what he had seen, but otherwise, he was left with a blank. Whatever they were, they were always terrifying enough to make him wake up in a cold sweat, petrified with fear.

He rubbed his head gingerly as he groped around for his phone. He didn't have much to do; lights weren't allowed to be on until six, leaving him with two hours to sit around and mope.

Idly, he scrolled through his messages, checking to see what he had missed while he was asleep. XANA weighed heavily on his mind, however, and he couldn't quite shake the nagging in the back of his mind.

He didn't remember much of his time under XANA's control, and he figured that was for the best. He didn't think he'd be able to live with himself if he knew the full extent of his crimes. That lack of knowledge about what his own body had been up to, however, wasn't comforting in itself; it left him always wondering about what had happened.

Of course, the others had given him a brief summary of what had happened. Lyoko's destruction and the recreation, the battles in the digital sea, the plot to destroy Franz Hopper, and a few other details. But it really only left him craving more, more, more.

It was unnerving to know that there are things you've done to your own friends, with your own body, with your own hands, that you can't remember.

He'd considered asking about what had happened, asking for clarification. But they had all wanted to move on. And any time he brought it up, he was met with an awkward silence or an aversion to any of his questions. 

Besides, he wasn't really on good terms with most of them; Ulrich and he had always been tense, Yumi had become strangely distant toward him; they still talked, and still seemed to be good friends, but it was definitely strained. And because of his actions towards Aelita under XANA, Jeremie still held a small grudge and distrust towards him. 

Aelita still liked him though; in fact, she expressed interest in having him rejoin the group and in hanging out with him, but she was always so busy between school work, DJ gigs, coding against XANA, and dates with Jeremie that she never had time to be with him.

And with what little he did remember, she probably didn't trust him that much anyway.

Flashes of the day he came back to earth for the first time accompanied that thought. He remembered walking toward the group, ruffling Odd's hair, pretending to be himself, before eventually getting him and Aelita alone and then knocking her unconscious and-

He pinched his nose. He was spiraling.

He sighed before letting his thoughts wander. Speaking of Odd, he wondered where they stood. He remembered they had been friends before his possession; of course, nothing compared to the bond he had with, say, Ulrich, but they were still pretty decent. They had chatted about common interests and hung out with each other on occasions.

Odd didn't seem to hate him; he certainly wasn't as tense as Yumi, Ulrich, and Jeremie.

He frowned as he shut off his phone. There weren't very many messages to check; all of his real friends had ostracized him, anyway.

He needed a distraction.

As if on cue, there was a soft knock on his door. It was so quiet that William considered he had hallucinated it, before he heard the sharp tap tap tap once again.

Hesitantly, he shuffled out of bed toward the door. His hand hovered over the knob, wondering who was on the other side, before clutching the knob and pulling the door open.

Odd Della Robbia stood outside his dorm, holding a pillow in one hand. He looked tired, his hair ruffled and only vaguely in the pointed shape he had seen him in all year, and the small smile didn't match his weary eyes.

"Hey," Odd greeted casually, his voice slightly above a whisper.

"Hey?" William answered back, confused. "Do you need something?"

Odd pushed his way into William's room, giving him a careless shrug in reply as he gently brushed past William. The owner of the room blinked at him before slowly closing the door, letting his eyes adjust to the dark once again.

"What are you doing here?" he reiterated, wanting a better answer than before. He watched as Odd plopped down on his bed, dangling his legs as he placed the pillow on his lap.

"Well," Odd began, and William was close enough to be able to see him bite his lip, a tick that signified he was slightly embarrassed. "Ulrich snuck over to Yumi's for the night, and while I'd love to bother Jeremie instead, I know he and Aelita are working on debugging something for the Skid, so there's no point in going there when they'll just kick me back out, and Milly and Tamiya are having a girls night so..."

Odd trailed off, glancing up at William. He sent him a scrutinizing stare, his large eyes washing over William's face as he debated on continuing. "You know how I have a lot of sisters?"

William nodded. He remembered Odd mentioning that on occasion. His stories often left William glad that he was an only child. "Yeah?"

"We used to have to sleep together a lot because there was six of us in a limited space, and I guess I've just gotten so used to sleeping with someone else in the room that it's hard not to. So I was hoping I could sleep here, with you, tonight since I'm all alone in my dorm." He raised an eyebrow at him. "And since you're still awake, I assume you're having trouble sleeping too?"

William hesitated. "You could say that."

Odd nodded. "Then it's settled. I'll have to sleep here tonight. Sleeping with someone else is always a good way to get yourself to go to sleep."

A silence lapsed between them as William mulled over his words. While it seemed like he had been Odd’s last resort, it was still flattering to learn that Odd preferred his company to being alone. 

Slowly, William made his way back to his bed, feeling more than seeing the blond’s eyes on him as he did so. The mattress squeaked in reply as he sat down, and was left to contemplate what to say next. 

“Do you regret finding the factory?” The words slipped out without any thought of the repercussions. Before he could amend himself, he was met with a quick answer.

“Yes.” Odd had said it like a fact, with no hesitation like William had expected. Odd’s brows furrowed before adding. “Well. I guess, not entirely. I don’t regret meeting Aelita. I don’t regret becoming friends with Jeremie, Ulrich, and Yumi. I don’t even really regret fighting. But I regret all the baggage that comes with it, you know? All the terrible things XANA does can be stopped, but it almost always costs us something. It cost Hopper his sanity and his life. It cost Aelita her father and her childhood. It costs Jeremie good nights of sleep and gave him paranoia. It costs Ulrich his good grades. It costs Yumi her family’s trust in her, and the danger they're in since they’re so close to the crossfire. It cost you months of being possessed...”

Odd trailed off, letting that sentence hang in the air. He glanced over at William, a pensive expression on his face. “And it's just... so taxing. Emotionally. I can’t count how many things I can’t look at or do in the same way because XANA somehow managed to ruin it for me. I used to love going swimming, but then XANA tried to drown me, and I can’t look at water in the same way. And god knows what the others go through.”

He played with the hem of his shorts, sighing. “I don’t regret helping Aelita. I just wish it didn’t cost so much. But it’s not like I really had a choice, anyway.”

William frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, when Jeremie found the factory for the first time, he invited Ulrich to try and test out the scanners. Ulrich stole Kiwi to use him as a lab rat, and I chased him down. I accidentally got stuck in the scanners, and was the first on Lyoko.” He shrugged. “I would have remembered everything even if Jeremie used a return to the past to fix everything, to void the formation of our group and my involvement. And after he explained everything, I don’t think I could have lived with myself knowing that some girl was trapped in that hellscape with monsters.

“So it wasn’t really a choice. It was an accident. I wasn’t even meant to be apart of the gang, anyway.” He gave a soft hum as he fiddled now with his shirt. “In fact, if I hadn’t seen Ulrich steal Kiwi, I’d probably never have gotten involved. Ulrich didn’t like me at all when we first met, and I don’t think Jeremie cared for me too much.”

William always had wondered how the gang had gotten together. He always wondered about the origin story of the discovery of the factory. He had been given the basics of what had happened before he was a member of their group, but never how they all met.

“But,” Odd said, and he turned to face William. He could feel his eyes trained on his, and William felt himself shudder. “You did have a choice. So now I have to ask, do you regret it?”

He wanted to say yes. Because in all honesty, he did. He loved the Lyoko Warriors and he did like being apart of their group, but he couldn’t even sleep properly. He had months taken away from him, his friendship stripped away, all because of XANA.

“Sometimes,” he began quietly. “Sometimes I can't help but wish I never said yes.”

Odd nodded and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “How could you not, after everything that happened? Sometimes I wish you’d have said no, because I feel awful about everything you had to go through, everything you’ve missed. Everything that changed...”

William felt Odd scoot toward him, and he grinned softly. “Thanks, Odd.”

“I’m sorry.” There was something strange about his tone. The usual playfulness of his voice was missing. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry. For everything. For your possession, for the aftermath, for ignoring you like all the others. And I’m sorry for them too. They’ve all always been so paranoid, so distrustful, it's only worsened with all of the XANA attacks, and I guess they feel that you’ve lost whatever trust you had with them.” 

The hand on his shoulder tightened, and he could feel Odd brush against him as he moved even closer. Odd was staring at his feet, idly swinging them as he spoke. “And I’m not sure why I followed them. Because I trust you. And I think I always will. You do stupid things and you can be shallow and vain but hey, I’m absolutely no better. You’ve grown a lot since I first met you, and I appreciate that. So I trust you.”

“How can you trust me when I don’t even trust me?” William asked. It came out as snappish, but in reality, he just wanted to know. “How could you trust me after all I’ve done? After nearly killing you, and Ulrich, and Jeremie, and Aelita, and Yumu, and messing up everything you’ve all worked for?”

“Because that wasn’t you.” For the first time in knowing Odd, the blond was speaking in a serious tone. He’d never seen the boy angry or exceptionally serious before; frustrated, yes, annoyed, yes, worried, yes... but not serious. And yet there was no room for humor, no room for jokes, and no room for argument.

“It wasn’t you. It was XANA. He used your body, but if you had a choice, I know you’d never join him no matter how desperate you are. I’ve seen you try to fight him. I’ve seen you try and stop him. And I know that you didn’t do any of that shit.”

William listened, his eyes trained on Odd. He had snapped his head up when William questioned his almost too easy trust, and was boring holes into him from how strong his stare was. 

“You’re a good guy, William.” He let out a soft sigh and leaned against the taller boy. “You really are.”

They remained quiet for a moment, silent in the darkness. William couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“I...” He stuttered, not sure of what to say. “I nearly killed you.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“But I did.” And William wasn’t even sure why he was arguing. Maybe because it was all his fault, and he couldn't understand how Odd forgave him so easily. “I nearly killed you because I made some stupid mistake and wouldn’t listen to Jeremie and let XANA possess me and-“

“You didn’t let him-“

“Yes, I did!”

He yelled his last few words, a strange anger coiling in his stomach. How could Odd be so stupid? Couldn’t he see that this really was all his fault? Was it so hard to understand that he ruined everything?

Odd flinched at his raise of volume. Harshly.

And all of William’s anger disappeared as soon as he noticed. As soon as he saw Odd retract his hand, his body stiffen as he flinched.

The anger was replaced with a sadness. Because god, just raising his voice had done that. How could their friendship ever repair enough to fix that? How could he undo all the shit he’d done to Odd and his friends? 

Odd seemed to realize what he had done. “William-“

“If you’re going to apologize, don’t bother.” He rubbed his eyes. 

“I trust you-“

“You clearly don’t.” The venom seeped from every syllable, but it wasn’t as sharp as it was supposed to be. 

“I do.”

“You don’t.” And William stood up, moving away from Odd as he clenched his hands into tight fists. He could feel his knuckles turn white, could feel his nails begin to dig into his skin. “You don’t trust me. Stop lying.”

“I do,” Odd insisted, that serious tone tight. “I trust you with my life.”

“But you don’t trust me when I yell at you?”

“It’s not- I didn’t mean to-“

“It was a natural reaction.” Williams blood went cold. “Because why shouldn’t you be scared of me? Why shouldn’t you be? You spent months fighting me, months of me trying to kill your friends and you and why would you trust me?”

“They’re your friends too-“

“They’re not. Odd, you’re the first person to actively seek me out in weeks. The only times Yumi talks to me is when I engage it first. And they all refuse to acknowledge me. They’re not my friends too.”

“Well then William, I’m your fucking friend. And don’t you dare try to argue about that, because you don’t know what I’m feeling or thinking or what I want. Don’t make decisions for me. Don’t cut me off when you don’t know the whole story.”

“Why would you want to be my friend?” William could feel himself become irritated because he just didn’t understand. “I tried to kill you many, many times. You can’t trust me. You can’t.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you didn’t do any of that? It was XANA. He was the one who tried to kill me, he’s the one who I hate. I don’t give a damn that you were under his control. You’re still not him. Do you understand that? You’re not XANA, XANA isn’t you. You didn’t do that shit. He did.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did! I remember some of the time I was under his control! I remember feeling absolute hatred when I fought you. I remember wanting nothing more than to kill you, to throw you in the digital sea. I felt myself become full of rage. I did try to kill you, and I wanted to do it."

"How do you know that was you? How do you know XANA wasn't just messing with your head?"

"I don't know Odd! I don't know if my feelings were real! I don't know if my memories are real! I don't know who I am anymore! I don't know anything, Odd. How do I get this through your thick head that I can't be trusted? What kind of moron do you have to be to just give away your trust to me? How the hell can you trust me if I can't even trust myself?"

He towered over the smaller boy, leaning over him. He had walked toward him as he spoke, his feet guiding him back to the bed as his voice continued to rise in volume. His hands were on Odd shoulders, having begun to shake him as he spoke, trying to get it into his thick skull that he was not to be trusted.

He took one look at Odd, and deflated.

Odd was very clearly trying not to show that he was afraid. His eyes stared directly into William's, defiant and challenging him to back down. But he had flinched harshly as he yelled, even though he had tried to suppress it. His hands were shaking slightly as he clenched them into fists, clearly weary as to where this argument would lead.

William hovered there for a moment, before slowly backing up. He didn't- he didn't want to scare him or intimidate him. He didn't want that.

"I'm sorry," William muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "That was uncalled for."

"No problem," Odd casually answered, as if he William had just thanked him for doing him a favor instead of apologizing for yelling at him. "Sometimes, you just have to let things out."

"I guess so."

A silence lapsed between them once again. William made sure to keep his distance this time, standing a few feet away. He didn't trust his temper at the moment.

Odd remained strangely quiet as William tried to sort out his thoughts, and God only knows what goes on in Odd's head. He presented himself as an open book, but it was damn near impossible to be able to read him when he didn't want to be.

William was so stupid. Why was he trying to destroy his only friendship left? Why was he trying to cut out the only person who really trusted him after everything?

"I'm a monster," he muttered, looking down at his bare feet.

"No," Odd cheerfully retaliated. "You are not. If anything, you're quite the opposite. More like a paranoid teddy bear."

William snorted at that, tension melting. "Sure."

Odd just grinned at him. "I'll say this as many times as I have to. You're a good person who made a dumb mistake. You messed up once. Don't beat yourself up about it. That could have happened to any one of us."

William hesitantly sat back down on the bed, and could feel Odd began to scoot closer to him. He grinned softly. "You're a good friend."

"And so are the others. They just need more time. I promise we'll get this figured out. They might not warm up to you immediately, and they might not trust you, but they will. If there's one thing they do often, it's give out second chances."  
He laughed absently. "God knows how often I've used them"

William nodded. He couldn't expect everything to be fixed overnight. He knew it would take some time before the rest trusted him. But if Odd trusted him, and Aelita didn't seem to hate him, then that should help his case a lot more.

It was... nice to know that he wasn't alone.

He slowly put his hand on Odd's shoulder, and while Odd's muscles tensed up, he didn't quite flinch. They locked eyes for a moment, Odd's big eyes radiating warmth and smugness and some other emotions he couldn't quite identify.  
He could remember some of the fights he had engaged in with him on Lyoko. It was hazy, but he could vaguely remember them. Odd was never afraid during their fights, never once worried about his life, completely carefree as they fought. The fights were always unfair, he always had the advantage since Odd didn't possess any grand powers, but Odd was never too worried. 

He wondered what had changed. He wondered how he had gone to fearless to flinching at him even raising his voice.

Or maybe he had always been like that, during the time he was possessed. Maybe he just didn't want XANA to know that he was afraid. Maybe he was just a very good actor.

"You're an enigma, Odd," he finally said. Odd winked.

"I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it has been a long night and I am in no mood for an English lesson. Let's go to bed, hm? I'm tired."

Odd immediately laid down, scooting toward the wall to give William some room. He let out a small yawn, and William watched as he buried himself under the covers.

Slowly, he laid down next to him, and he could feel the heat radiating from his body. He listened to his breathing as it began to even out, becoming deeper and slower as time went on. He grinned to himself and closed his eyes as Odd began to move closer to him, and the smaller blond nestled into him.

Hesitantly, he laid his arm across his waist, and this time, Odd didn't flinch.

His eyelids drooped, and he slowly began to drift off. For the first time in weeks, William was able to finally sleep peacefully.

**Author's Note:**

> Angsty huh? William was a literal puppet for months, and even if he doensn't rememebr, that would fuk anyone up.


End file.
